Everything Would Be Ok
by Y2D
Summary: Matt Hardy deals with a confusing and painful issue


I walked to the ring accompanying Lita for her match against Jackie

I don't own the WWF or these people. 

This story is based on a dream I had about Matt, so some things might be a bit weird. This is my first fic, so I hope it's not that bad. 

I walked to the ring accompanying Lita for her match against Jackie. I did the usual guns and talking to the crowd, but I was missing the usual fire I always had inside of me. The fire I got from being out in front of all the fans and the usual strive and confidence I had in myself.

No, tonight it was missing. Something wasn't right. Something that got me down, but I just couldn't figure out exactly what it was. It was some looming feeling swimming in my heart. I was feeling depressed because of this and just wanted to end it very soon. 

I got on the turnbuckle and did the guns while Lita did them beside me on the mat. The fans were wailing and cheering. This would normally have given me a rush, but not tonight.

I got off onto the mat and stayed a bit away from Lita. I loved her, but we seemed so distant all of a sudden. Like she was hiding a secret from me or wasn't comfortable around me anymore. I see the look in her eyes, and I see guilt and a far away look. I can't seem to read them anymore. I don't know what's happening, and it all hurts. The confusion, the feeling I have.

Even Jeff, my brother, is avoiding me. He tries to be nice about it, but I see past his act, and see his need to be away from me. There are many uncomfortable silences when we're together now and then he makes up some excuse that he has to meet one of the guys, when I know in my heart, that he doesn't want to be around me.

I don't know what happened. I don't know if I had done anything remotely wrong or if they just got so annoyed with being with me, that they all leave. Everything was good before. Now everything and everyone I loved was drifting away and I'm alone, lost, by myself.

I'm not as outgoing or content as I always was, anymore, and I feel like no one's there by my side wanting to be with me. Even my dad seems to be so far away. I feel so empty. I can't take it anymore and I just want to leave to a better place where I don't have to deal with these issues.

Jackie comes out and steps in the ring, while I exit and hit the floor. Even the floor feels empty and hollow, just like me. The match starts and I half-heartedly watch as Lita is thrown into the turnbuckle. She looks hurt and I know I should be worried, but I'm not. Why should I care, when she and everyone else don't. 

My mind is now completely diverted from the match and I seem to be off in my own world. A place where I'm alone, but not bothered by these pains. I'm magically floating in a whirl of colours. A thought suddenly comes into my mind and I remember the bottle of pills in my pocket.

I take out the bottle and open the cap slowly. I had to do this and there was no one who could stop me. Who would anyway? No one cares about me anymore. Wouldn't they be relieved that I was gone? I take out the contents and put them in my mouth. One by one, I swallow them whole.

Now, it's all a matter of time. Soon I would be gone, out of everyone's way. Lita, Jeff, everyone. I knew I would miss them, but I couldn't handle this anymore. I'd be free of worries and pressures. I would be with mom.

In a matter of time, my surroundings had become a blur. All actions and colours were mixing together and clouding my eyes and brain. I couldn't see clearly, think clearly. My body felt heavy and soon enough I felt the cold hard concrete on my skin. It was soon going to be over.

Or maybe not. The EMT's had rushed out after seeing me collapsing and I was being lifted onto a stretcher. Why were they doing this? Couldn't I just be left alone to die? They put an oxygen mask over my face and I could hear my rasping breathing. I didn't want to live.

I removed the oxygen mask from my face and it was like everything froze. The EMT's seemed to step back and didn't try to put the mask back on my face. It was my time to figure out if this is really what I wanted. On one hand, I would be in a trouble free world and out of everyone's way. I wouldn't get hurt any longer. On the other hand, I would loose everything I loved and worked for. Now I was more confused than ever.

My sign came when I saw Lita and Jeff nearby. I looked at their faces, their eyes, and saw emotions that I hadn't seen for a while. I saw worry, pain, and most importantly love. I finally realized that they actually loved me and cared about me. They didn't want me to leave. Whatever was going on before would just have to be worked out with a talk, but things would be good again, like before.

I realized I had something to live for and that I was loved. I put the mask back on and time started moving again. Lita and Jeff were immediately at my side as I was taken up the ramp to the back. Lita was stroking my hair, while crying with muffled sobs. I had hurt her, and Jeff, and I felt terrible. But, everything would soon be ok, I knew.

I wanted to tell them that I loved them very much and that I was sorry for what I did. As if sensing my thoughts, Lita smiled and whispered, "I love you too, but don't ever do that again. I can't bear the thought of ever loosing you." 

Yes, everything would now be ok.


End file.
